A few possible vows...

In an effort to help plan our wedding, a girlfriend of mine sent these vows to Buzz and me.

Bride: I promise to learn to cook something other than baked beans on toast, not to hog the bathroom and use all the hot water, and never to ask, 'does my bum look big in this?' and expect an honest answer.

Bride: I promise to care for you in sickness and in health, unless it is self-inflicted and two o'clock in the morning, not to hit you too hard when you are snoring, to let you in after a night out with the lads and to care for your prized collection of beer mats.

And for the Groom...

Groom: I promise to put the top on the toothpaste, my dirty washing in
the washing basket and not to clean my football boots on the kitchen
table. Oh, and to love you always.

Groom: I vow to understand you when I don't, to admit that I am in the
wrong when I mistakenly think I am in the right, and to bring you
flowers at least once a week as I am bound to have done something that I
should apologise for.

You have to admit that those were funny. :)